How hot is it?

It's so hot that... * the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground. * the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper. * farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs. * the cows are giving evaporated milk. * you no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. * you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. * you can make instant sun tea. * you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. * the temperature drops to 85, you feel a bit chilly. * you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl. * you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face. * you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top. * you discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car. * you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window. * you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance. * hot water now comes out of both taps. * it's noon kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets. * you actually burn your hand opening the car door. * you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. * your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?" * you realize that asphalt has a liquid state. * a sad Arizonan once prayed, "I wish it would rain - not so much for me, cuz I've seen it -- but for my 7-year-old."